May I suggest a different take on GAL. Look for GAL opportunites that don't get you into a group of separated people of the opposite sex who all have marriage problems as a common issue. May I suggest a few other options. The purpose (to me) of GAL is to transform yourself in ways that you didn't think were possible, to gain some skills that improve you, and to show yourself and your spouse that change is possible.
Since you said that you H was a "touch" person and I assume from what you posted that you would eventually like to rebuild the relationship, is there a skill that you could gain that would make you a much more attractive person to your husband at some time in the future, should he decided he wants you and you decide you want him? How about signing up for some massage school lessons? It might help you in three ways. First it might desensitize you so that you don't freak out touching another human being. You might actually learn how touch can be non-sexual and healing (which will be important to your H). Second, you might learn how to provide a really good theraputic massage that has healing benefits to a future parther (either your H or someone else). Massage is great for healing sports injuries and reducing tension caused by stressful jobs. Third, when your H finds out that you are massaging other people, he might find you more attractive and want to get some of that, which allows you options on DB'ing the relationship.
Another alternative GAL (that doesn't involve possible stalkers) might involve some form of real serious physical exercise that is designed to get you in shape and give you a killer body, that your H will fantasize over. Have you ever thought about training for a set of runs, like a 5-K (3.1 miles) in say 10 weeks and then a half marathon (13.1 miles) in say an additional 12 weeks. Seriously training for such a series of events even if you walk part of them, will get you in much beter shape and potentially loosing weight (if that would be beneficial). Again, you can join on-line running groups or clubs and avoid the stalking. A side benefit would be that vigorous exercise helps combat depression.
If running isn't your thing, how about bicycle races? Swimming, or maybe even weightlifting/body building? Indoor Sport/rock climbing? Most gyms you can join where you could do body building have personal trainers (you can choose either a male or female trainer). Through body building, you can really make huge changes in your body (change your and your H's image of you) in probably about 3 to 4 months of steady workouts. A sports group, will be focused on the sports, and not a group of people with mariage problems looking at each other for support.
While I think that GAL should involve strenous physical activity, it can also have other bettering aspects. It could include taking a course at a local community college. It really doesn't need to be about anything in particular, just something that will improve your mind or give you skills you value. You will be with people who are looking for skills and improving themselves and that will be your shared interest, so less chance of stalkers. It could be an English literature course. However, from what you have posted, maybe a begining psychology course or a cosmotology course (learn how to do your own make-up make-over), or a fashion course.
Finally, if you do that and you like the results, get brave and blow you H's mind and transform yourself. Try taking a belly dancing course or perhaps a pole dancing aerobics course at a local women's gym. Most of them are very women of non-perfect body type friendly and populated by women like yourself. They have them and you H will wonder what the Heck has gotten into his wife.
As to counselors, you are paying good money for a service. You deserve to get their A game and if the advice you get doesn't resonate with you, find someone else.
Good luck to you.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
