I really do wish you the best. 2x4s are on their way, and i don't mean to insult you or your x. i apologize if i come off as insensitive, that's not my intention.
get her into counseling, get her meds straightened out. You're both very confused, and this all happened so fast with so much drama. and unfortunately, its not over yet.
get her well BEFORE even beginning to consider to think about talking about getting back together. my guess is that you're both months away from anything healthy.
I'm sorry to say this, but i see a lot of manipulation on her part. Playing the victim, while asking about OW. and careful about accepting her excuse of being sick, it strikes me as if she found a quick simple excuse to everything.
it didn't have to happen this way. she could have left him, but instead chose the path of maximum drama and sucked you right in. she knowingly created the situation that made herself a victim and is asking you to forgive her past because she is a victim.
you also need to stop with the R talk, you're also manipulating her. you need to withdraw so as to not confuse the situation and healing process.
Go back to DBing.
my fear would be that you'll lose sight of the issues that need to be addressed, while you're caught up in the anger at him and the chivalry of saving her.
keep sight of the big picture. remind yourself of your thoughts before this episode started with her seeing you with OW. this drama changed the details and the immediate circumstances, but you dont know yet how it affects the big picture.
