Being mysterious is something that either is or isn't. Putting in on in an effort to be attractive to her is a waste of time in my opinion.
It would be far better if you were simply making your own plans and moving forward, respecting the desire that she has expressed to live separately.
Seems to me that it is difficult when you are still in the freshness of this devastating news to realize that most of what will work runs counter to what your gut is screaming at you to do.
Chances are good that you did not originally catch her eye by bending over backwards trying to catch her eye. She wouldn't have been tricked by you then, and she sure won't be tricked by you now.
She wants to be done, so you should be in the process of developing a life that does not include her.
You said yourself that the potential loss of you actually led her back to you before. By that way, the fact that she has a history of not being faithful should be troublesome to you, and it should impact any potential reconciliation in the future. You don't want to see things rebuilt, and then going through this same stuff in another five years or so.
Genuine, honest, dependable, confident...these are the things that make an attractive man.
Worry, fretting, supplication, constant contact...these things are needy and unattractive.
Why in the world would you need to let her know that you are going out? If you need the kids taken care of, I suggest that you call her first, ask her if she is available to cover the kids for you, and if she hesitates at all, find someone else.
You have to play this straight, and she does too. You can't ask to be done, then expect to be filled in on all the details of a life you've chosen to walk away from.
I know you're thinking this all sounds antagonistic, and I assure you that is not what I'm suggesting at all.
I'm suggesting that you RESPECT her expressed desires and begin building a good life for yourself.
Then let's see how things go.
No faking it.
Get real.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
