But last night it occurred to me that those statements probably are true. I thought back through the years of our marriage and recalled incidents and comments that should have been big red flags to me, but I chose to ignore them or misinterpret them.
Telmark, those statements may be true, but I'm sure it's not the entire picture. She has singled out data to support her decision(s). All you do right now is learn from those mistakes and keep moving forward. This is not all your shoulders either. She has a hand in this, too.
Originally Posted By: Telemark
W will always see me through her Old Eyes - the ones that produced so much contempt and apathy toward me and our M." She is the true Injustice Collector, and will always carry those hurts and injustices with her like a security blanket.
This is her problem. This is very unhealthy. Until she unloads this baggage, she is always going to be weighed down with it. Also, I think we as LBS tend to forget the WAS is watching us. The more you continue to work on yourself and GAL, the more other people are going to notice as well.
Originally Posted By: Telemark
What kind of a relationship would we have if it was based on her staying only out of duty or obligation? Why do I want to be with someone who very clearly does not want to be with me? I do not want a passionless, loveless, sexless marriage, yet that is what W, by her own admission, is offering.
Who wants that? I really don't think your W wants that. I know you don't want it. I told my W a couple of months ago that I want her to want to come back. I think that's the only way. Besides, you want your real W back, not this person you're dealing with right now.
Originally Posted By: Telemark
Am I giving up? No. I will continue to DB and work on myself. I will be a better version of me regardless of the outcome. But the thought of a D is not so terrifying any more.
Good for you, Telemark. Continue to work on the new and improved Telemark.
