I am so lost... Please someone help me! 2

[Johnnieno1]

I will say that my efforts with regard to my R have followed the following path:

PAST
1st bomb drop in  Feb.  
     - Half hearted attempt at DB.
     - Some changes for my wife's benefit.
     - Belief that sitch is a bump in the road.
     - Complete blind faith that M will work out.
     - Filter out what I wanted to hear as nice to know.
     
2nd bomb drop (letter Bomb) in Start of June.  
     - Attempt to try DR techniques , read 27 rules.
     - Changes for her and my benefit.
     - Realization that sitch is much worse than I thought.
     - Scared about uncertainty but still believing in M.
     - Implement some DR techniques.

PRESENT
3rd bomb drop (A bomb) July 3rd.
     - Doing my best to continue DR plan, live by 27 rules.
     - Changes primarily for me and the kids, still some for her.
     - Realization that sitch is in critical condition.
     - Devastated at reality of M, realization that Old M is dead,  hope fading.
     - Following DR board communities advice.

FUTURE
4th bomb (hasn't dropped yet) getting prepared
     - will not react emotionally.
     - will step back emotionally and physically to think.
     - will come here first to think and plan response.
     - will continue DR techniques,.
     ** more to follow **