"Most people are happier in their second marriages because they've learned from their mistakes"
+ Have you heard this before?
- I have heard something similar, although not necessarily stated that way.
I have heard that statistically, second marriages end in divorce more often (as a percentile) than first marriages.
Michele states... "...60 percent of second marriages end in divorce..." and "...one of the reasons there are more divorces in second marriages is that people enter their second marriages with the bad relationship habits they learned the first time around."
+ Are you happy in your work?
- My contentment at my job or in my work has varied. Most recently, I had not been happy with my work. In my new job since separation, I do feel happier. Most likely because I see it as a step towards financial security now that I am living on my own. It's a bit of a rationalization, but I do actually enjoy my work for the most part.
+ Do you feel fulfilled? Are you happy with yourself physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally?
- I had felt fulfilled for the most part in my marriage and my life, in general. Although for the past number of years prior to the breakdown of my marriage, my entire feeling of contentment in life had begun to wane significantly.
+ How does this affect how you feel in your relationship?
- I have no doubt that the stresses that I felt in work, my loss of income due to competing family commitments, and my overall sense of well being contributed greatly to a negative feeling around my relationship with my wife.
+ How do you think the same things are affecting your partner's feelings and expectations in your relationship?
- I would expect that the same things, or at the very least the affects those things had on me and my feelings around my marriage had a large impact on how my wife began to feel about me.
While she likely had her own stresses in life which contributed to her own loss of fulfillment in her own life. I would suspect that both our feelings around our lives contributed to each of us feeling less connected or committed to each other and to our marriage.
NB: Michele's thoughts on pages 57 and 58 are really worth reading over again from time to time and applying to your life and relationship.
