Stop the Coaster, I want OFF!

[ninelives]

Again everybody, I have read all the posts. I feel bad when I cant respond individually to everyones post personally but I dont have the energy at the moment. I know you wont take offence.

We got back from the Police Station and she is taking this remarkably well. She is crying from time to time but not as much as I would have thought. She may be in shock.

She is very concerned that I will not take her back and that in a couple of days, I will tell her sorry, but this is what you wanted so please go on by yourself.

I tell her that R talk is not necessary right now. I did ask her some questions about what he told me and she became very upset.

I told her i wasnt interrogating her but just want to know cause I am going to have to make a decision but not anytime soon.

I apologized to her and said lets not talk about R talk, lets just get you well and feeling safe. He is in jail right now but will probably be out on bail tomorrow. He is not to communicate with her in any way, texting including. He is not to be within 100ft of us , kids included or near my property.

I guess he was driving around looking for her yesterday when she came to my place and after she left, he was in my driveway for some reason apparently.

I am very lucky I didnt see him here because that would not have ended well.

Wife and I start making dinner, I make all the fixings for a stir fry and we have ribs. We arent talking much and she says,

W: I guess im pretty boring huh? Not exciting like young OW

M: NO , its good, its been a draining day.

W: What are you thinking, are you going to leave me? Just say its too much and not want me.

M: Lets not go there right now. I dont know what the future holds, if i cant forgive you, then there is no point

W: Can you forgive me for all I;ve put you through. YOu are the most amazing man I know .

M: All i care about right now is that you are safe and feel safe.

We do talk about some things that happened but just idle chit chat. Im not mad at anything that has happened. She does ask me alot about OW.

I tell her straight up that OW has many good qualities but one that she can never have. She isnt you. She isnt the mother of our children and we dont share a history. Lets just leave it alone ok.

We had a great dinner, she really enjoyed it and at lots. Her jaw was sore while she was chewing as she told me that which sent a bolt of anger through me.

We cleaned up together and she cleaned a little extra the places in the kitchen that men dont recognize as being dirty.

There is man clean and there is woman clean and she makes the place sparkle.

We went outside for a cigarette. She smokes and lately, I have just had a few puffs just for the hell of it. It just relaxes me.

And thats where we are at right now. We are going to have to take a long time IF Recon takes place. I told her about retrouville as well and she seemed very receptive to the concept.

I know its a long way down the road and we are going to have a tough tough go of it.

All I know is that we both want our family together again and that everything else is going to take lots of patience and work.

I told her that i always envisioned us getting old together and she teared up and said she thought of that always.

One thing she said that was strange to me was when she said she always felt like my wife. That she seemed like she was in this strange fantasy both good and bad that she could not escape.

But she always felt like she was Mrs 9.

I hope tomorrow is a calm day. Need to decompress a little.

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