I have begun to plan out certain goals for my new life. Back to basics, as it were. Back to the time when we first move out on our own, and have basic financial needs for rent, food, etc...
I will live within my means and I will continue to work on my financial freedom as I take care of myself and my kids as needed.
Rather than worrying about it now, I will simply deal with my Love / Money issue in the future, if it creeps up in me again. The nice thing is, now that it is more in my conscious mind, I can do something about it if necessary.
I recognize in myself, that I am the one who feels that money is so important to her. Whether it is to her or not, is not my problem. You are correct. I did not choose to leave the M and regardless of my love/money issue, I was becoming more successful at providing financially for the family.
Yes, my W said to me that "Love is not enough". What she DID NOT say, was that money, or financial security was more important than love. I only inferred that in her comment. It COULD BE her truth. Or it could be something more benign as, "Money has a role in M and I have the need to feel financially secure, therefore while I do not feel that money is love, money is important for me and I can love you all I want, but if I do not feel secure, love is not enough. I need to feel secure, as well."
And I can't mind read, so whatever I am feeling about my W and love/money is MY feelings.
The only facts here are, my W says "ILYBINILWY", "Love is not enough" and further, my W is the one who left the M to follow some path and journey that she felt she needed to go on, without me.
That being said... the only thing I can do is return to being the person I was prior to my slip into the negative behaviours that grew in me, and grow to be a better man. For myself, for my children and for any future R I become involved in.
