When ever I read your thread title, i also think of the song "Words," by Missing Persons. I thing it applies to your situation too sadly.
I hear you on the loneliness of not connecting. I mean I swear sometimes I'd start and R talk because I knew it would be real conversation. I think it's okay to be bugged by it and you should really try no to mind read. Our MC suggest this exercise - try to make up a positive story about why your H is doing what he's doing. We make up negative stories all the time (like he's thinking about convos with OW). I's the same work to make up positive stories and the benefit is that you might feel better about H.
Luckily, throughout my whole ordeal my W and I have been mostly good about having real conversations. We talk almost every day. (She usually calls me at work just to 'check in') In fact today when she called. I said something like "well, I'd better let you go get back to work" and she said "Do I really have to to?"
I'm sure, as you do, I try to seek other outlets for connecting - here, work, with my kids, calling family, etc. I know its not the same really.
Somehow I think our friendship is still mostly intact. That helps a lot. Still I do get upset when she makes herself emotionally unavailable to me, but I'm supposed to be there for her. Like yesterday, she worked all day. she was supposed to work a 1/2 day, but worked all day. I had a great day with the kids mind you, but it somehow felt like BS.
Of course she comes home exhausted. Does some more work upstairs in our room, then goes to bed. we did manage to go for ice cream.
Sometimes, I feel she is really short changing our boys with her work schedule and it's hard not to get upset about that.
hang in there.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
