I was in the exact same situation as you. I checked her phone and saw the I have loved you for 20 years text to a guy named Tony. That day, my life changed for ever. I called the guy. He told me to F off. She defended him. I was utter shock. She took my sons out on a boat with him yesterday on 4th of july. She has moved on and is dating someone else. They are now just friends. But that doesn't really keep me up at night anymore. These feelings, this pain will go away.
I remember being at my son's baseball games and getting a sick feeling thinking of her in the stands with another guy. Fast forward two years. I don't have that feeling anymore. It will subside. I fought and fought for about 6 months. Finally I had to give up. I was the only one fighting. I needed to find my pride again. I needed to let go. I couldn't hold on anymore to someone that didn't love me and wanted to go. Only then, can you start to feel better. My opinion, you have to detach and let go. The more you fight, the more they pull away. I talked to everyone who will listen. In hindisight, bad move. She was the bad one. She strayed. Well, she is the one wearing the scarlet letter. Yea, she suffered and is suffering because of that. But my sons lose in the end because many people won't give her the time of day. We live in a little upscale community and word spreads fast. I am the hero, the good one. So what? Again, try to put your kids first in the deceisions you make. Don't let them see you fight. Again, don't let them see you fight. You will never know the damage it will do. I did everything wrong. Most of us do because we are so freaked about what happened in our lives. I still have issue to this day. Believe me this is the truest test of our lives. Just let her go. If she comes back great. If she doesn't, you are preparing yourself for a life without her. I don't wish this on my worst enemy. However, we are in it and can't do anything about it except try and be there for our kids. Just find some people you can talk to. You will be talking about this for a long time to come...
Remarried 6 mo S 12 S 13 S 16 SD 12 SD 16 SD 17 SS 19
There was a justification you made above to a comment regarding an action you took irregardless of advice. The action might have been a mistake. Justifying the mistake... not so much...
Nothing here is right or wrong, good or bad. It is simply what it is.
We all came here with the intention to save our Ms. We are all in different places on this.
It is fantastic that you will not give up on your dreams. It is great that you are doing the best that you can to that end.
We all make mistakes... and we own them and learn from them...
Got fitted for my new contacts today... Should have them in a week. My W will be surprised to see me.
I am going out tomorrow night for dinner and a bonfire with my best friend. I won't tell her where I am going, that pretty different for me to go out on a work night...
Any other suggestions I can use to GAL?
j
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
Is there anything you've always wanted to do or try but never got around to? A class? Karate, Yoga, etc? That would be a good place to start.
I started volunteering for a non profit for adults who have HIV/AIDS. I actually worked for the company several years ago but have since quit but the place has a special place in my heart so now I go in and cook dinner for the residence and spend time with them chatting and playing games, etc. I read somewhere that the best way to improve self esteem is by serving others and it is the truth. When I volunteer, I feel amazing. It feeds my soul. Find something that inspires you.
I also walk on a regular basis, spend time with my friends, read books, go have coffee, watch TV channels and movies that I have always wanted and H never did.
The possibilities are endless.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
You bring up a good point. I am involved in the Lions Club but we are off for the summer. I have always wanted to help the elderly. There is a retirement residence close to my home, it within walking distance. Maybe I could play cards with them, or listen to their stories, anything that would give them companionship. Not sure when I could go though... I would want to go after the kids are in bed...
Do the elderly stay up past 8:30?
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
LOL I'm not sure exactly. Could you do it when your kids are with their Mom? My kids spend every other week with their Dad so I do my socializing and volunteering when they are with him. When my kids are with me, they are my priority.
I am sure the nursing home would love it if you volunteered there. So many of those people don't have hardly any visitors, or if at all. There are some residents like that at the place I volunteer, and it makes their day when someone comes to visit. Everyone needs company now and then Imagine the stories that you could be told!
It's funny, when I started working for the non profit it was because I was going through a divorce with my 1st ex h and I needed something to do when my kids were at their Dad's and I was lonely. It ended up being a life changing experience for me. It taught me compassion, appreciating diversity, and most of all, that I am blessed more than I realize.
I hope it does the same for you.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
I am living in the same house with my W.A.W. She likes to go out after dinner to the gym to work out her home daycare stress. I'm sure that it (the daycare) is a contributing factor to her current unhappiness.
Anyways, it would be kool if I could bike over there WITH the kids. I would be teaching the kids a good lesson about kindness, and I'm sure the elderly would love the kids enthusiasm. I am really starting to love this idea. I winder if I should call there first, or just stop by...
Me 45 W 34 W.A.W. 3K. D11 S9 D6 M 12 y T 13 y Bomb drop 02/22/2011 2nd written bomb (Letter bomb) 05/31/2011 Affair (A bomb) revealed 07/03/2011
