I am so lost... Please someone help me!

[d1adsl5a]

Johnnie,

I was in the exact same situation as you. I checked her phone and saw the I have loved you for 20 years text to a guy named Tony. That day, my life changed for ever. I called the guy. He told me to F off. She defended him. I was utter shock. She took my sons out on a boat with him yesterday on 4th of july. She has moved on and is dating someone else. They are now just friends. But that doesn't really keep me up at night anymore. These feelings, this pain will go away.

I remember being at my son's baseball games and getting a sick feeling thinking of her in the stands with another guy. Fast forward two years. I don't have that feeling anymore. It will subside. I fought and fought for about 6 months. Finally I had to give up. I was the only one fighting. I needed to find my pride again. I needed to let go. I couldn't hold on anymore to someone that didn't love me and wanted to go. Only then, can you start to feel better. My opinion, you have to detach and let go. The more you fight, the more they pull away. I talked to everyone who will listen. In hindisight, bad move. She was the bad one. She strayed. Well, she is the one wearing the scarlet letter. Yea, she suffered and is suffering because of that. But my sons lose in the end because many people won't give her the time of day. We live in a little upscale community and word spreads fast. I am the hero, the good one. So what? Again, try to put your kids first in the deceisions you make. Don't let them see you fight. Again, don't let them see you fight. You will never know the damage it will do. I did everything wrong. Most of us do because we are so freaked about what happened in our lives. I still have issue to this day. Believe me this is the truest test of our lives. Just let her go. If she comes back great. If she doesn't, you are preparing yourself for a life without her. I don't wish this on my worst enemy. However, we are in it and can't do anything about it except try and be there for our kids. Just find some people you can talk to. You will be talking about this for a long time to come...