Definitely tougher MWG, good for you. There is no reason to be treated the way he treats you.
I'm honestly not sure why you are still M'd to him, but that's none of my business. Just curious is all.
I have had so much stress in my life the last 5+ years and continue to struggle with some health issues.
I weighed out the pros and cons and getting a D would cost me $$$ and I would get nothing out of it because he does not work. I want to keep my stress level lower than what it could be which isn't saying much.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Gotcha. It's not a matter of holding on the the M, it's now more a matter of the pros and cons. Makes absolute sense to me. Just like people say M is justa piece of paper, so is D.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
As the days/years go by, my kids are behaving worse and worse. It is as if I cannot do anything right, I do not buy the right groceries, I am lazy (have had terrible backaches which prevent me from standing for more than 15 minutes at a time), and I am very, very tired.
Of course kids refuse to believe that I have been under so much stress and yes, the house will go into foreclosure sometime soon. Again. Did the trial modification but did not have a job when all was said and done. And H does not have any intention of getting a job.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
So 2 went to visit his dad yesterday. Right as he was leaving he told me his dad had called him and asked if S could bring over some toilet paper because h had run out and he had no vehicle or money either.
OW was out of town for two weeks and came back lastnight.
In the meantime, my son said there was no food left in the fridge and freezer, just some ice pops, and h looked really, really awful, and he was also experiencing some anxiety.
So S gets home after 8PM and OW was not there yet but S told me that his dad thinks I am a liar that I am lying about my job being on hold and that he doubts this. I got really mad and told S that I have had enough...he can have names and numbers if he wants to see for himself and furthermore, I told him I would not permit him to use my car to go see his dad. He said I could not stop him from seeing him and I said no but he would have to find another way or H would have to find a way.
Life is really peachy over there....lol! Running out of toilet paper and food....
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
MWG, Would it matter if you took your XH to verbally speak to your employer? What difference would any of it make? Would he change? Why do you care what he thinks? Honestly, here is a guy who has no means of wiping his own rear-end trying to tell someone he "doubts" things about your job being on hold. LOL MWG, I think you are surrounded by stressful situations and they are caused by the people in your life. Your children really need to experience life a little bit. What I mean by that is, they need to find jobs and live on their own a bit, then they can talk to you about groceries and keeping a roof over head. You need to try to find some peace. Living the way you have been for these years hasn't given you any and I doubt that you will find it continuing to live like this.
I've been playing catch up this morning and saw your posting. I'm sorry that the stress level in your home hasn't decreased.
As for providing the bare essentials to your h, I would be very hesitant to do so. He's made his bed and he needs to grow up and understand that your family is not responsible for providing him with his essentials. The day he walked out would have been the end of such things. I understand where you are coming from and also see the way that he is using your children to get information. It's not good and I feel for you. Your children do not see how he's playing them.
As for the comments about you being a liar, your son should never have repeated it to you. Your h needs to hit bottom in all areas of his life to realize just what a good family he had, but walked away from. This man is still expecting you and your children to take care of him. Cut the apron strings and leave him to fend for himself. You've got more than enough on your plate just taking care of yourself and your children.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I do hope things are getting better for everyone, and for those suffering illness, I am praying for you!
Here's the lowdown:
D17 spent the summer in Boston and is now living there full time. She is in very good hands, living with my sister in law and her husband. D17 will complete her senior year of high school there and also establish residency at the same time as she plans on attending college there in one year. I think this is a very positive move for her.
D19 will be leaving to go back to college in South Carolina in one week.
S20---Got a call yesterday morning at 4AM...he was pulled over for DUI. I did not know he was gone until 1AM and kept trying to call and call since he is not permitted to take the car, esp. at that hour.
The police released him, a friend of his brought him home, my daughter and I went to get my car yesterday morning as it was parked on a side street about 1 1/2 miles from here.
Sine he violated his probation, it appears as though he will have to spend 2-5 years in prison.
He has a court date in one week, and I do not know how many more before they sentence him.
I am still looking for work, still not feeling well, and am exhausted.
That is the latest.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
