I just wanted to stop in and say I am still kicking. I lurk every now and then, but my computer at home is on the blink, so I use my fone to lurk.
Not too much to catch you up on about my sitch. H is still deep, deep in the tunnel, his radio co host told me last night that H's ego is so big it is starting to bug people. H and the co host were in a demo derby last night and I got to see more of the ego inflation. Last week my grandmother passed away, a woman who loved my H very much and prayed for him daily. He didn't even contact our D16 to offer condolences and the first moment he sees us (at the county fair) he doesn't even address her or offer sympathy, he goes straight away talking about the demo derby car. She was disgusted and got up and left without saying a word. She just keeps saying he doesn't care about anyone else but himself. I don't even know what to say to her anymore. It hurts to see her hurt so much. I am the parent and can handle this, her I am not so sure sometimes. She says she is doing fine, but then I see her be so rude to him and this is not how I raised her. I have seen her act nicer to strangers than her own father.
Me, I am doing well, and seriously getting a life. A friend is letting me work in his office for a few hours a week off the books so I can make a little extra cash to help pay the bills. The full time job is still elusive at this point. But I keep looking. Thankfully, H still deposits his paycheck and I still pay all the bills with that and my unemployment. I still have not finished getting the house ready to put on the market. But, I have been so busy living my life! Some friends took D16 and I to Gatlinburg for the weekend and we had a blast. Last week was dealing with my Grandmother's death and this week is fair week, (BIG DEAL) and it keep D16 and I busy the whole week.
So for all the newbies out there, we do survive. For some it takes awhile to detach, but I can't express enough how important that is and how it helps. Learn to live your life like your spouse is never coming back. Trust your spouse to God and keep moving, joy and happiness will find it's way back into your life. Even when your spouse is a monster and says bad things to you and about you. Life is good, you just have to find the positive and run with it. Be a survivor! The only victims are the children who are involved, be a survivor role model and teach them how to move forward as best at you can.
Blessings to all!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
