9...I haven't talked to you in a while but please allow me to say a few things. I don't think anything you did with your W was wrong. You both had a long overdue conversation that showed just how much passion is still there. I understand that her being with OM is killing you, but I guess for me, I would be willing to let that go a little longer if I thought there might be some hope. I know both you and Denver bring it up a lot and I'm sure as guilty as they feel for doing what they are doing, talking about it only makes things worse. If you would have ended the communication with her after she left the house, I really think you would have some renewed hope and strength. My 2X4 to you is that you kept pursuing. She told you she wasn't ready to talk about leaving him yet. If she is the kind that needs to be in control, then she isn't going to leave OM because YOU are asking. It really does need to be on her terms. My advice to you is this. Keep going out with your OW. Go dark with your W. She will eventually contact you again to try to pull you back. If she didn't care for you, then I really don't think you would have gotten such a strong reaction from her. If her reaction would have been, "whatever", that's when I would think SHE was done.
Take some time to sort through your feelings. You have learned a few new things about your W and what she wants. Think about how you felt while you were ML to her and what you are willing to put up with to eventually get that back. She showed you some flashes of what she was and could be again.
I may be way off base with my comments, but that is how I feel. I want the best for you 9.
