I know it's tough and take it from me. I think that's where I started to get in trouble in my situation. I saw a bunch of improvements over a couple weeks time. I didn't take enough time to appreciate my wife's effort and just enjoy the moments.
Now I don't know if it cost me in the long run, but I do think it hasn't helped me
I think it is something in our DNA that makes this kinda thing tough.
But I will say, you still control your own ship. You are choosing to keep the door open to your W. You could have just as easily said "It's too late." when she asked you about MC. Heck it would've made things simpler in a way. But since you made that decision.
But try to remember you W is probably in the same boat. She opened up her mind to the possibility of things working out. i'm sure she is scared that you will revert back or something. She is just as fearful of getting her hopes up only to have them dashed.
The time is for her as well as you.
Someone was talking about the marathon analogy - I think it helps in the beginning, but it sux for piecing. Why? because when I start a marathon, I know exactly how far I have to go. I have mile markers telling me when the 1/2 point is, when there is 5 miles to go or when there is 1 mile to go
In this, It's like starting a race where you don't know the distance. (JTB would say that it is really the rest of your life in some respects)
But it sure beats the heck out of the alternative.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
