I've been rejected. I've been abandoned. I've been called inadequate. I've been betrayed. All by the person who I love. None of these things really scare me right now because I've lived through it, and I'm still here.
I think what scares me is a loss of sense of self. So much of the past couple months has been a stripping down of me, looking into a place that exists beneath my role as a spouse, as an artist, as a son, as a sibling. My resentment towards this other person may be something my ego is hanging on to. Do I really lose anything though? Maybe I gain something?
Thoughts??
I think you said it here--who are you without these fears? Do you know that person yet? I think sometimes it's scary to go into the unknown... and maybe that place (ego-less) is unknown and therefore scary.
Also, forgiving is powerful. It doesn't mean you're okay with what happened (doesn't have to) but that you can move past it. Again, this situation - betrayal abandonment, rejection may hold some power for you - obviously it did since you met with those experiences. Maybe they were there for you (in your "vibration") from long ago and you've remained faithful to them for some reason. Clung to them for some reason.
Letting go is a little scary. Can you trust it? Is it real? Can you count on it? Etc.
I'm in a similar boat. This no longer upsets me, nor does that, or that - it's like woah! Hold on a minute! This is moving to fast, where am I going!
I say, be brave. Go with it. Take little steps. Breathe.
