So I bbq'd dinner tonight for the second night in a row. A little thing, but HUGE for me. I have NEVER been able to start our bbq, and so my H just always did the bbq'ing (only cooking he ever did in 14 years, so I took advantage of that). So guess who showed me how to light the thing? Yup my five year old lol Why can't starters ever last on bbqs? Anyways, I know this is going to sound ridiculous to most of you, but I'm very proud of myself. Its amazing how many little things I know have to figure out to do. Next job is to figure out how to start the lawn mower. H refused to ever let me cut the grass - as he was so anal about it. Yet he complains each and every week about having to do it, whenever I offered to do it for him, he refused. oh and we have no front lawn, and a backyard about the size of a postage stamp. Noticed something else tonight. The kids and I spent the entire afternoon outside yesterday. Well my back got super sunburned. I was trying to put aloe on it today and realized I can't even reach it and it hurts like heck to bend my arms back, b/c of the burn. Usually H would do that for me, and he was always so gentle about doing stuff like that. Well again I had to rely on my 5yo. Little guy was SO sweet about it - he loved rubbing the aloe 'gel' all over me... he pretended he was covering me in jello. Thank goodness for the sweet little souls in my life. They are what keep me going. I wasted a lot of work time today reading the message board. I can't remember who said it, but its so the way I feel about my H right now. It was something like 'you are leaving a great life that is about to get even better'. Now dont get me wrong I dont think we had a great life months up to the separation, but we worked through a lot of stuff the first 6 months of our separation, and things were getting so good again. Is it possible for someone to fall 'back' in love with someone, after they are 100% convinced they aren't in love any more? Just babbling as usual I guess...
