sgctxok, Thank you for writing. He has just walked away with no valid reasons. Yes i heard i didnt appreciate him, i called him a baby, i never asked him about his job, etc... all those fixable things. He is moved on i believe. He has found someone (whom by the way used to date 36 years ago) that says is so nice. She is out of state. He goes atleast once a month to visit. I dont know this man. He wont talk on the phone. Like I said previously he will text buy only general info. When he is sick he will call one of our kids who he has not talked to in 7 months and not call me. My kids refuse to talk to him. As far as DB techniques...I have gone dark. It didnt seem to matter. Ive done the 180 it didnt seem to matter. I just think he is totally done. We have a pre trial hearing in august. I asked him to please slow this process down because it is so overwhelming and of cours it is something i dont want. He texted me the other day and said he would like to have it finished that day because he needs to know is financial situation because he will need to find another place to live before december. He currently lives with a male coworker and his family. Then he told me he was quitting his job but just bought a new car. He has avoided our home completely. He will not help with any maintenance at all. He is made that I had the locks changed back in January and he just cant get past that. In fact he was quite angry and he never gets angry. Nothing makes sense. I will say I was doing better. I have had some good days, and weeks. But since last friday it has turned to complete sadness and depression. Maybe its because I know he is with her and before he left he was really chatty with me via texting. If I didnt have the D papers in the picture and this was just a separation I think I could deal better. Thank you for saying you think I have a big heart. I think I do to. I am the first to admit I didnt do everything correctly in our marriage. In fact I know I didnt but I accept the mistakes and have corrected them. How do I make him see that? I know this man loved me. I know he was happy with me. We were a close family. He has not always been faithful. Of course he always denied any allegations but I know he was. This time he got caught and didnt know what to do so he left. He doesnt know how to begin to face everyone even if he thought about coming back. I told him there is help for that. That it would take time but it could happen. As far as I go...yes i am so sad. The saddest Ive ever been. To think he is probably watching fireworks tonight with her and not here tears my heart open. I just wish I could get him through the door of a therapist and see where it would go. Thank You so much for chatting with me. I do appreciate it so much.
