her crying, evading responsibility and accountability, etc. denying what she's done and hasn't done. all smacks of manipulation. mostly on her part, but some on yours too.
the fighting on fine lines is always annoying, when you speak in generalizations she wants sharp definition, and visa-versa
i dont think you need a 2x4. you know what it was, and what you did. it definitely wasnt strong DBing, but i think some of those things needed to be said. and some of those digs probably felt good to say.
the two of you needed to discuss boundaries, and this may be the first of many conversations where you set those.
although unless you set up rules of discussion, it will be tough. there is still lots of anger and pain there.
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
