My story ends here. The D was finalized about a week ago. What started out with a bang has ended in a whimper. My now ex-wife started chatting with me online. I'd run a marathon the day earlier and she used the opportunity to say congrats. After a few minutes I asked "Hey, are we still married?" to which she replied "no". And that was it. No crushing, to tears, no . . . . .anything.
On to new things. Ran my first marathon in 6 years and got a personal best. Climbed a mountain yesterday. I have a great job. I've re-established long neglected friendships. Things are good. Yes, I miss her. Yes, I get lonely. But it is OK. Being alone has given me some time to see where I lost myself and leaned too much on her. It's given me the opportunity see again what she found attractive in me.
Dating has been fun. I'm casually dating a great woman, though I see that ending soon (you can only be casual so long). Yes, I'm looking for someone, but I've actually become a bit more choosy. One of the women I've gone out with is superficially perfect. Beautiful, good job, smart, athletic . . . fun. I'm my previous life, I'd stress about how perfect she is, then feel like a failure for obsessing. In reality there is something missing. So were now good friends. Not "just friends", actual friends.
One more thing. Exercise. I think it saved me. 14 months ago, I couldn't run 3 miles, I was 20+ lbs heavier, watching too much TV, eating poorly and feeling like a big sack of $#!t. Things are different now. I look good, I'm strong, I'm more attractive, and most importantly, I feel good. It takes time, it is painful, it is hard. But if there is one thing I know form having gone through this, is just how much time one has. Think about all the time you moping around with painful thoughts in your head? If you spent 1/4 of that time in a treadmill, you'd fell 10x better about yourself. I know it's not for everyone, but it saved me. Oh, and I joined a running group, and, I must say, getting to spend a few hours every week getting sweaty with attractive women isn't so bad!
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
