I want the hurting to stop. The pain to go away.

[sgctxok]

Ok, Rue, I looked back at some of your more recent posts--and I noticed FooFighter999 gave some advice, that I believe will be great for YOUR situation (not all). I don't believe in ALL of his advice so I'm listing what he wrote

You have 3 thing there to work on. Firstly do not confront him with what he has done, stick to db rules on that.

Secondly agree with him that the marriage was no good - validation.

Sort of--just listen, some pieces of the marriage weren't good. Just don't contradict him.

Thirdly, reject him. Get a life and make sure he knows about it. Act as if and act happy.

Gonna have to fake it til you make it. FF thinks you should date. That's not a DB recommended principle, and it can seriously backfire. I don't recommend that, but be so happy your H misses you. And 'reject' him. Not in a mean, angry way, that will backfire. But don't pick up on his calls, if he wants to see you for something, you're busy, you don't have time till a week or so later.

...but ultimately you want to make him see that you can manage quite well without him. My W did this to me 15 years ago and, trust me, I was back like a shot. Most men are indeed stupid when they think they are about to lose something that is not on their terms

FF999

priceless