still lost and still searching 2

[aeolianchaos]

I need some guidance and some support to stay on track and to keep moving forwards. i dont want to revert or do something stupid and push her away again.

Definitely stay on track.

Definitely keep moving forwards.

I don't know your situation as well as others might, but I think that you will probably need to recalibrate your goals and prepare yourself for a big adjustment.

It's probably been, in many ways, easier for you to make substantial changes w/o your W there. How is her being there going to affect some of these?