I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering

[ClingingToHope]

Well, Saturday with Church_31 didn't work out. She texted that she had to make a dish to pass for her Sunday party and couldn't do it in the morning so she was going to skip going out Saturday.

That's the indicator I think I needed. If you are interested in someone, you make heaven and Earth move to see them.

So I think I'll see her on the 4th for the fireworks -- the church group is getting together -- and then I'll move on. I'll be out of town with girls for a week and when I get back I'll concentrate on not thinking about her.

XW was over on Friday. I got off work early to get girls to take them swimming before they went out of town with XW.

We swam for an hour and had a really good time. When XW showed up, the car was packed but she was missing stuff. So while girls went inside I took the dog from her and walked it up and down the street while she checked the car for her check card.

Eventually, she found it, but she was still missing a check in card to church for D8 and earplugs for swimming. I gave her my extra pack of plugs and a key card. That way they could just leave.

Church is starting a four week series on how to stay in love. Week 1 was about making love "a verb." You don't "feel" love, you simply love your spouse, meaning you do loving things.

Funny thing is D8 really wants to go to Sunday school so supposedly her and XW were going to drive back Sunday morning -- it's an 1:15 drive from the campground -- so she could go.

I'm curious if they made it. I doubt XW would like the message. She divorced me, she said, because she didn't feel love towards me anymore.

Saturday, after Church_31 said she was staying in, I did the same. I didn't feel like spending money to chase fun. I have enough expenses coming up this week with the trip to the Mall of America.

I did make it out to play my second round of golf today. I was awful ... but the whole goal of living without fear and anger helped.

As I was playing terrible, I felt anger rising up inside. I asked myself why. I am afraid by playing poorly others will think I'm unathletic or a lesser man.

That's silly. I'm playing golf with guys who I play softball and basketball with. They know I'm a good athlete ... I'm just no longer a good golfer.

That got me focused on the real goal of the round ... to just kill time.

Keeping life simple is helping, I think.