...allow myself to recognize that the opposer may not be trying to make me wrong. Rather, they are simply stating a different point of view which does not invalidate my view.
That's such a good thing to note and a hard thing to do, huh? I'm still struggling with how to balance my H's truth about a situation with my truth, especially when we don't see even close to eye to eye right now.
Great notice, girl!
It's a bit of a revelation for me, as it came out this way. Although it is something I've recognized in myself in other ways or forms.
How to do this successfully? Practice, practice, practice.
First, practice noticing this in yourself, in the moment.
The more we practice this, the quicker we are to be able to deal with it when it comes up.
Once we notice it in ourselves, we can course correct. IOW, rather than joining the "right / wrong" conversation, we listen. We accept what we are hearing is someone's opinion. Simple information. That is likely not intended to invalidate us or make us wrong. And then we can simply respond with "OK".
I've heard that simple response ("OK") can end an argument faster than an argument can start up.
Of course, if it is obvious that someone IS trying to make us wrong or invalidate us, we need to look inside us and understand that we are coming from a place of honesty and humility (we SHOULD be coming from that place, anyhow) and accept that the other person is (possibly) stuck somewhere (unwilling to accept our opinion as AN option; although that is not important) and that is their choice and we do not need to own that.
Turn the other cheek or walk away. We have spoken our opinion. It is not for us to force our opinion on anyone else. If they choose to disagree with our opinion, however they may choose to do so, that is up to them and we have to accept that, rather than trying to be "right".
Your are soooo correct, though. Not the easiest thing in the world to do.
