2Step - I love what you said. I honestly don't know that I can do it though. Seriously. I am so angry and hurt that she lied for so many years, that she toyed with me and that ultimately she "got away" with it, that right now I can't live those words as impressive as they are. I can't say I even want to give her what she needs now. I don't feel like she deserves that from me.
As for that night, I know it wasn't the only reason. She had been having an affair for years before that and wanted out for a long time. As I mentioned before, a good mutual friend said "if it wasn't that it would have been something else". I am truly letting go of my guilt for that.
I suppose my greatest challenge is making peace with the past - her actions more than mine. I need to forgive her more than myself maybe. I'm just not there today. I am just angry. But as I said before, I have not lived through the anger yet. Maybe I need to feel all my anger first and then, I can move towards peace and forgiveness.
