J1... understand that we are here to support you. That support includes handing out harsh reminders that there are certain things that we might do that are NOT conducive to helping our M's.
They are known as 2x4s...
I do not know enough about you to know if you have a controlling nature. I understand that you are desperate to save your M and will do what ever it takes.
It might have felt good to confront the OM and give the sister and friend the heads up. But that is controlling behaviour and is very unlikely to help. High risk that is most likely to blow up in our faces. Push our spouses away.
The biggest gift we can give ourselves in these high emotion moments is time and space AWAY from the drama. AKA "getting off the roller coaster". Easy to say, hard to do.
Remember that we cannot UNDO that which we have done.
DB does not instruct in the way that it does to hurt us. It instructs us in the way that is most likely to have positive affects. HEED the DB and the things that work, and do the best you can to stay away from things that do not.
You are going to be all over the emotional map right now. Do whatever you can to put yourself into a time out. Do it for you and do it for your kids.
