I am guessing the "stuck" part is in that I don't want her to think I am such a fool that I don't know the real truth. That her opinion of me shouldn't matter anymore. Or, that I get sick when I think of them together? or both? Correct?
Someone mentioned a while ago that I should consider being mad at her. I suppose it is a stage that I have not fully lived. It does make it easier to not miss someone when you are mad at them. I have every right to be mad at her. She cheated for years!
I actually wouldn't want to be married to the person she is now. I want to be with the person I remember. She no longer exists. Sometimes I wonder if it's a control thing too. That she got to choose to end our marriage not me.
I know a few others see the truth and I know it's best for my kids not too. My focus has to be on rebuilding my relationship with them without having to destroy their view of their Mother. It does have to be separate. I need to stop letting them see me live an entire day in a funk. D19 called me a drama queen this morning. STBX only shows them how happy she is. I can at least, fake it in front of them.
Thanks Kaffe. It seems like I have lost many other posters after my revelation of what I did to STBX. It's good to know someone is still out there.
