My take is the same which is, it appears you are playing a game of chess and expect to out play your W. While it is possible and it is up to you how you want to get to the end game, it is not a tactic used in DB. Understand that what you appear to be attempting IS manipulative. It comes from a place of (perceived) control.
There is no guarantee that DB will work for any sitch. The difference is, DB comes from a different place. DB comes from a perspective that the only thing, the only person we CAN control, is ourselves.
Further understand that if your W catches on to what you are doing, she may very well do her own set of 180s as it were and completely throw your game plan out the window.
Remember that she is saying and behaving in a way that very much indicates that she DOES NOT want to be with YOU, atm. Until she decides she does, she will do whatever it is she wants. Her statement that, you cannot control her.
I wish you the best if you continue on your plan. I really do wish everyone the best when they show up here, because it is showing that they do want to save their M, if possible.
In the end, we need to operate from a place of self. What can we learn about ourselves in relation to where our M is. What we could have done different so we did not find ourselves here. How can we be better. Because in the end, whether our M is saved or we end up D, any NEW relationship from this point forward will be determined by the work we do on ourselves and how that contributes to a loving and respectful R in the future.
