Well W picked up kids this morning. I asked her if she had fun last night and she said she didn't go out. I have to assume she was truthful because knowing her like I do she would said she had fun with her friends or whatever. She said she didn't go out because she wasn't feeling so well. I don't know if I exactly believe that but it is possible. I am exploring the possibility she got cold feet, or she started to feel some guilt or whatever, but truthfully I don't know what her reasoning was nor will I beat myself up trying to figure it out.
As for how I was feeling the whole night she was at the game. This is under the assumption she was there because I didn't find out about the no going out until this morning. Anyway I only thought about it a couple times briefly. It didn't make me depressed or anything like that. I don't know why it didn't.
I do want to assume that her involvement will the OM will fail. It's really hard to explain, but it's a very strong likely hood it will. She has very low self esteem and is all about EA. I never understood her low self esteem as she is gorgeous and very caring. Truthfully in my eyes an amazing woman.
I know I make a lot of assumptions about me being her next EA, but there is a pattern with her. Our marriage was riddled with several EA with her ex-boyfriend. Only email and nothing else. I always asked her why time and time again it was always him, and she told me it was because besides me he was the only other person she ever loved. Now as my sitch goes, she is firm on the D, but yet doesn't seem to want me completely out of her life. Wants to call to just chat once in a while. Said she misses talking with me. She wants to spend a day together as a family once a week or every other. She keeps asking me if we could do something soon. I just reply let me know when. Now I know the family day was my suggestion a couple days after the bomb dropped, but she appears to be pursuing it. I do think her reasoning is for the kids, but I can't eliminate the possibility of it being for her as well.
I know you think I'm setting myself up for disappointment by thinking A will fail, but truthfully I won't be disappointed if it doesn't as I still am preparing myself emotionally in the event it does work out. It's hard to explain why I feel this way, but I do want her to be happy.
As for your question I would answer A & C. I really do not know what the future will hold, but I do believe she won't find the grass any greener. Let me explain. She has a pattern of trying to live a fairy tail life in her mind. When she would tell friends about things we did or whatever she would ALWAYS pump it up some. I would listen and think to myself that's not even close to what went down. She expecting not hoping for a fairy tail life. She was thinking she would be out all the time with friends and such. That isn't happening. Her friends are married and have families and have trouble getting away. I haven't even hung out with my best friend since this ordeal started as he has a family as well and just doesn't have the time. When I have the kids her time is spent doing household chores, grocery shopping, yard work, etc. All things I used to do. When she has the kids she is at her parents all the time. So far the only difference has been I'm not there to help her out around the house. She even is talking about getting a second job just to make ends meet. Goodbye fairy tail! It has always been my belief the grass isn't any greener on the other side. If asked I tell them some things are indeed greener and some aren't, but for the most part it's brown on both sides. It's all what you make of it.
