I did go out for the past 2 weekends and didn't tell her where
GOOD! Keep this up. New cologne? More new clothes as the pounds drop off? Keep changing it up. Same old colors of clothes? Do something different. Google what colors I should wear. Anyhting to keep changing it up. Stay mysterious and keep her guessing. Arouse her curiosity.
I love the saying, "Learn to speak Cat". Be catnip.
Originally Posted By: Johnnieno1
I am going to get contacts again and ditch the ugly glasses, so that will help...
YES!!! This is actually a 180. Not to get her to notice, but others as well. It's clear they bother you and that's a nice 180. I wear glasses. You still need glasses. Just when you get a new pair change up the style...pick a pair that compliments you. You can do contacts definitely, but you can also wear stylish "cool" glasses as well. Anything you can do to feel good and attractive to YOURSELF is a positive change.
Keep up the good work and don't hesitate to post bad days here. Remember Sandi's list. Keep moving forward friend.
Originally Posted By: Johnnieno1
She is going out tonight, so I have to watch the kids
I do not actually know what you usually do after she returns. You can fill that in later. I will say. DO NOT ASK HER ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Don't ask if she had a good time. Don't ask if she had fun. Don't ask or say anything! Let her come to you and tell you something. Pretend you don't care. 'act like' it's normal and whatever. Make her tell you about her night. If you ask ANYTHING...1) If she is screwing around and guilty...she will use it against you as pressure. 2) She will view it as pressure against her freedom (even if she didn't do anything) 3) She will feel you put pressure on her, no matter how you ask. Just let it be for now.
The goal here is to show YOU trust and are not effected by her actions. It also allows her to feel no pressure and safe. IF she's up to no good, you actually gain the upper hand by knowing you handled it correctly and letting her make her choices all on her own with literally NO JUSTIFICATION. Does that make sense to you? I can clarify if needed.
