Feeling Low

[~¤DG¤~]

This is what I struggle with. There is no contact.
None. I am not supposed to make assumptions, but how can I assume that we are anything if we don't even speak?

[Valeska19]

I struggle with that too. I just remember how much time has allowed me to deal with stuff. How it has allowed me to think about ME.

I just posted my w has initiated contact with me after 7 wks congratulating me on a movie I worked on. It was nice but its up to ME if I want to get on that roller coaster. That's a nice feeling to have things in my court.

Space and Time are good things. I don't assume I have anything left with w. I don't know why she won't talk to me, and every day I care less and less. Not because it doesn't hurt, cause it does.. but because there is NOTHING I can do to change HER. The more I realize that, the more I accept it, the more I move forward with MY life. Ya know what I mean?

Hang in there!

[~¤DG¤~]

I remind myself of that also, that there isn't anything I can do to change him, only myself. I have to remind myself of this on a daily basis.

I know I'm supposed to live in the moment and not worry so much about the future, but I can't wait to look back on all of this and think "Look what I got through".

[a girl]

Boy do I feel that! I cannot wait to look back on this and say "That sucked, but boy am I stronger and happier and done with it."

I'm probably 80% "positive" thinking (as in, "I can't wait until we are back together and building a new marriage") and 20% negative. Working to make that 95/5, but it's slow going.

Are you doing any "self soothing" or "self centering" stuff? Yoga, meditation, visualization, anything? I find that it helps me stay in control (even on days like today when H is mopey and cranky because he's decided, against all common sense, to go off caffeine.)

I like the iPhone apps by Andrew Johnson, and there are some less specific ones called "Simply Being" that help. Pilates and yoga also help because they make me feel more in control and like I'm doing good stuff for me.

Too bad you don't live close - we could be each other's GAL buddy.

[~¤DG¤~]

Today is actually a really good day! My S10 came home from his Dad's early so we could go to a deer farm. It's this neat place where you can walk around and the deer come right up to you and you can feed them. I haven't been there in years so it was good to go. I took lots of pictures.
It is a beautiful day out today, and that always does wonders for my mood.

Tomorrow we are going to the amusement park for the day and if that isn't GAL for myself I don't know what is.

[jbnati]

Glad to hear you had a great day, DG. Have a great time tomorrow!

[a girl]

That's awesome! Hope your tomorrow is just as good.

[~¤DG¤~]

Just popping in to say hello and wish everyone a safe & happy 4th.

I'm currently the bag holder and bench warmer at the amusement park. This place is PACKED but I figured it would be.

I've been trying hard not to think about coming here with H last year, but it does cross my mind. I have learned that my stomach can NOT handle rides anymore. How in the heck did I get so old?

The kids are having a great time, and I just love seeing their smiling faces and spending time together as a family.

[a girl]

DG - Glad you're having a good time!

It's hard for me not to think of things I did with H - I find using the "visualize a stop sign" method helps - not 100%, but a lot of the time.

Hope you have a great 4th!

[jbnati]

DG, Happy 4th to you as well. Glad you're having a great time with your kids. Maybe you should take some dramamine? LOL I got to that point, too.