Another has gone by, and I’m surprised that I have been able to keep from talking to W. since Wednesday there has not been a conversation that consisted of more than 10 words and all have been about the kids.
I decided to take the time and write W a letter that she will never get. In doing so, I believe that it has helped me get to the point where I can finally detach and really let go.
 
This situation has had such a negative effect on me overall; I realized that for the past year I have been putting all my energy into attempting to fix my marriage instead of fixing myself. My creativity at work and the energy I had always put into my kids suffered. That can no longer happen.
 
Lately I have been operating in fear, fear that if I let go I won’t look back. I can’t worry about something that isn’t there or even close.
I have to think My S’s and myself. She has made her choice, I have to accept that.

M 38
W 32
T 11
M 2
SS 14
S 9
ILYBNILWY March/2010
EA found out Oct 2010
PA found out Jan 2011
living together alone