I can appreciate that you want to understand why your wife appears to want out and is now hoping to get an apartment. How she lost that loving feeling, etc...
What if you were now D and understood that you will never know those reasons? How would you deal with it? If she disappeared and it was impossible to ever have her be able to tell you "why"?
And also, I notice you used the phrase "try to balance not being controlling"...
How about this...? Don't be controlling... You have likely heard, but perhaps don't believe, that the only person we can control is ourselves.
Hope all is going well with you and you are GALing successfully!
