Hi everyone, I havent posted in 3 months or so. Been trying to do whatever to say this marriage. Its not working. This is day 2 of a complete breakdown for me. Its been 7 months since H left and 5 months since he filed. There is an OW involved who is out of state. He is there now I would bet my life on it.
Why cant i let go? He has cheated. Not just once. He has lied so many times. He got caught this time and decided to walk away. He wants things finalized very fast. I dont. We have no communication except for texting and its very general. I have read Michelle's books over and over. I have seen a DB coach. I have applied all the techniques. I really dont think this is going to be saved. The relentless, hopeful keeps holding on but i think thats why i hurt so much. I have tried to GAL. But frankly I dont want a different life. My H walked away without looking back. He does not want therapy. He says nothing is wrong with him. He has lost all contact with his children. We have 3 adult children who are out of the house. They want nothing to do with him and they always had a great relationship with him. He set boundaries with them about what he would and would not talk about since he has left. He made rules and unless they went along they were not going to have communication. They think this is absurd. THey know what happened. They want answers. He is avoiding any mistake he has made and keeps running from speaking the truth. We have been together for34 years and married 29. There were ups and downs and most married couples experience. I had suspected he cheated before. Of course he always denied it. Why do I want this man. Im afraid right now. Its a holiday weekend and he is with her doing things we would be doing. It hurts so much. When he is not with her (which i believe he visits her once a month) he has started to get chatty on texting. Its very general but something new. Before there was nothing. Is it wrong that i feel more animosity toward this OW than him. I dont hate him. I dont know why. Please anyone out there can you help. I know you all have been through this and understand the rollercoaster. Thank you.
