Have a date calendar that's full this weekend. Different people on different days. Enjoying myself, keeping it light, keeping busy. I'm in demand! Yay me.
Where my H is concerned I'm mostly numb.
I don't want to remember our shared past and I do want to pretend it never existed. All of it seems like it happened to someone else and was based upon a lie: the fiction the man actually loved me. He didn't and he doesn't. It's getting to the point if we passed on a street downtown, he'd duck his head and not acknowledge me.
People ask me if I knew then what I know now, would I have even dated him. I answer, " No, I would have run like hell in the opposite direction." I don't hate him, but looing back I wish I had never met him. The good times do not outweigh the hell I've been through, at least not yet. But I didn't, instead I dated and married him. How young and stupid was I, and now my kids pay the price for my stupidity and youth. That really bites.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
