Yes it does seem ridiculous. I know the first time around I was blind. I thought we had a great relationship back then but there was a lot wrong. We both had a lot of issues. We worked through them and came out the end much better people and much wiser for sure.
But this time I think I have a much better grasp on reality and the reality is we're pretty darn good together. Except for the lack in the bedroom.
180's yeah. Right from the first moment. When she suggested separation I didn't try to solve a thing. She expected me to for sure. Just agreed and in a sense pushed her out the door.
That night I took the dogs for a late night jog to the lake. Enjoyed it a lot actually. Did the same for nights 2 & 3. Something strange happened that first night. I actually wanted to take care of myself. Previously when she went out of town I would eat fast food, etc. Even a couple days on fast food wreaks havoc with me. Now I don't want it at all. She talked to me about it a few days in. Asked that I eat healthy even though she was gone. I didn't say anything but I knew inside there was a change. Day 4 she stayed for dinner so I didn't get my jog. Day 5678 we worked ourselves into the ground. We had a big job to do. It was hard work and left us exhausted for the rest of the week. So I haven't been able to keep up the jogging but will start again.
Today something came out.
We were at her parents. Just visiting with them. We're talking about health insurance and she blurts out.
"I don't know, ask him. I'm just his property"
It seemed very disconnected from the conversation and we all just looked at her trying to figure it out. Then she explained that her accountant had told her that in the eyes of the law or the IRS or something or rather that a wife is just a husbands property. Yes I know that stuff is still on the books somewhere but our relationship is in no way like that. We're partners and that's it.
This has come up in snide remarks a few times. It seems so unrelated to our reality. Not anything I can change because it doesn't exist.
Similar issues were the theme the first time around. Our counselor dug this womens lib theme. Constantly quoted Clarrissa Pinkola Estes. Our counselor was going through her own stuff at the time and in no way should have been counseling.
So this imaginary ancient concept of marriage seems to be a big issue. But I'm not really all that great at battling imagined concepts.
