The show goes on

[25yearsmlc]

Thank you Seeking I appreciate your advice

I dont want to sound pathetic but its been 5 days since I have not googled OW.

Well, okay...don't google her or FB her or any such thing. It's not healthy.
Or helpful. It is self inflicted pain and it's a lose lose.

If she looked like Angelina Jolie and earned 6 figures and LOVES sex ALL THE TIME...and is brilliant and kind and hilarious...

you'd feel like crap....

but if she's a crack ho, who dresses and acts like one, and isn't literate

or smart or kind or into sex at all

you'd feel like crap...(gee, see any pattern?)


Im hoping that I wont feel the urge so much and it will just become the norm from here on in. I realise that obsessing about OW is giving her power and that is not something that I want to do, though I admit that it is difficult because it feels like H has chosen her over me.

See above^^ comment.


I still ask myself what is it that she has that I dont? Why is he with her and not me? Why is he so confused about what and who he wants?

SEE ABOVE COMMENT....^^^^and don't ask questions HE lacks the answers to b/c it's such a waste! Been there, done that.

I know I am 10 times the woman she is or ever will be. I am beautiful, funny, smart and loving. I have a beautiful son, a great family and wonderful friends.

FOCUS ON THAT^^^ AND BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE.

But I cannot fill the void in my heart.

give it time and don't say you "can't" do anything in life. You can.

I love my H dearly. I feel he is my true love. Could it be that I am only feeling this way because he abandoned me? and has chosen to be with someone else? Is it that trivial?

We all have our egos.

Ask yourself how you'd feel if he had died a few years ago. Would you curl up and die? Would you always be miserable and asking why he had died and how? Would you always feel sad, eternally? Or would you move on?


Envision your life without him BUT happy...what does it look like? Detail the images....and ask yourself What would your life look like IF YOU WERE HAPPY without your h?

what can you create in your life to match THAT image now??


Its been a little over 3 months since we seperated. In the first month he told me he was done. We were through. He was happy. The happiest hed ever been.

Now he has said he doesnt know what he wants. He is confused about life and where he is headed. He has quite his job and is "extricating himself from a difficult situation".

This is progress from where he was when he left. That much seems clear.


I want so much to believe this. He took baby steps. Told me he hadnt ruled out reconciling. The following week he told me he "hoped we could work it out". But in the same breath said he needed time to "sort his sh!t out".

Okay so your real worry is either that he's not home YET!! Which is impatience and unrealistic expectations on your end...OR

you fear cake eating. And with just 3 months into this, is that really a fear you have of a long term sitch?

You have some control here ya know. You can end things if you feel he's cake eating and not truly making any movement towards home.

I don't happen to agree with that point of view YET...

but if you cannot handle limbo

then end it.

Push him off the fence

but know you won't likely push him onto the side you want.

But he is still with OW. And I feel like we are going backwards. No forward movements. No phone calls or making plans to spend more time together.

Am I being impatient?

you are being impatient, imo. And but for the fact that he's with OW,

what else makes you feel he's not moving?

That he swings back from one mood to the other? That he can be very nasty?

Those are lousy factors to be dealing with. Are they reactions of his to YOU or your obsessing? Or

is it just HIS behavior?

If it is just who HE IS Now, go back to the "ego" factors and figure out why you want THIS back in your life.

Maybe it is ego and that's not a small thing. But it has to be recognized for what it is.