H is stuck

[25yearsmlc]

You sound good . . . regarding the swinging monkey idea - the thing I find difficult is that this is exactly what we are told we should not do - find another person to swing to, rather find the resources to be happy within ourselves.


The swinging monkey I referred to was what WAS's usually do, AND not the LBSers.

I don't think we are in a position, at least at the start of the crisis, to date OPs. Not really fair to OPs imo.

Your comment about how we need to "find resources to be happy within" is spot on.

THAT is exactly what WE are to do. While we may WISH THE WAS/MLCer would


look within, that's simply a "wish".

Dolphin

As someone else said (Cat?)

You do need to take care of yourself and NOT wonder what any/all of this means.


If you enjoy the times with your h, AND IF it benefits the kids,

AND if you can keep your expectations very low, for now

so you don't get so hurt again

then make a choice to be with him at whatever level is possible

or not.

But stop thinking/obssessing about what OW is to your h, or If they are breaking up or if he's in "replay" or where HE is in the R and all that blah blah blah...
(THAT IS ALL ABOUT HIM HIM HIM and not about YOU YOU YOU...)

Just keep the detachment and your GAL going.

You wonder when you will know IF and WHEN he's ready to come home...well

Thing is,

If he has an awakening and you don't put obstacles in the way

he will be clear enough for you to know what HE wants and is capable of.


If He is Not clear enough or sure enough or willing enough to be clear enough,

then do you really want to deal with a half a$$ reconciliation?

Keep that in mind and

take care of YOURSELF b/c that really is your job.


(( ))