Beatrice, I have done such a lot of cycling myself based on the very points you raise. For now I am ok today and that's all I can deal with. There are always issues in some form or another and I am on a steep learning curve. I have had to analyse my actions every day and try to consider the alternatives and to be aware and empathetic. Perhaps this is good for me in all my relationships; personally and professionally.
For today, my issue is to do with trust. How do you have trust when you have been betrayed? What do I need to give me security? What part does H have?
This trust question came because my H told me he was going to be at work for the morning but I observed his car was not in the parking lot when I drove by to meet a friend for coffee. I didn't go that way to deliberately check on him but I did look as I drove by (coffee shop nominated by friend is further along the road from where H works) and I did feel the lurch in my stomach.
When I pulled up at the coffee shop I saw his car at the Post Office where the company mail box is. I could handle that because he would be getting the mail but he usually does that on the way to work. My mind settled but I was wondering.....
When I saw him later I didn't mention anything about his car or him being/not being at work. Later in general convo we got talking about fitness and he said he was trying to get extra steps in his day and he mentioned some strategies he has been trying to incorporate such as parking his car at the post office and walking to work.
Hmm, that was a lesson for me. I have trust issues and I'm not surprised I do but I could have caused a huge and unnecessary problem if I had assumed he was not being truthful and wasn't at work.
So, a thought for today that I need to consider....
