Life, sorry we got involved in a long threadjack: you didn't fail. You may have done things wrong, but ultimately what others decide to do is up to them.
Someone who is somewhat covertly alcoholic can display very difficult and perplexing behaviour, and will try and 'blame' others for their drinking related behaviours
As for other people, well yes, people do like to butt in. In my case everyone simply wanted to tell me what a terrible person my h was for what he was doing, and I found that difficult, because I believed then and still believe that he is going through a profound crisis. That is not to let him off the hook of personal responsibility.
A few people got that he needed, but was unlikely to seek help. I largely kept my own counsel - very few people change their views, and once I had stated my case politely I didn't try and change their mind. How you deal with people probably depends on how well you know them. You can thank them graciously for their help and say you really don't want to talk about it right now. Intrusive is intrusive, howeer much they want to help. Personal support is much more valuable like being invited round for a meal or coffee to talk about something else!
If you want to talk, choose people carefully with whom you share.
Very often this is a nine days wonder for others and they get back to their own concerns.
