Okay this is my first post to the forums. Here is my situation and personally I don't think it looks good for me. My wife and I have been together for 11 years, living with each other for 10, and married for 7. We have a 3.5 year old son and 11 month old daughter. I'm 38 and she is 34. Anyway I believe my wife suffers from very low self esteem, which I never understood as she is an amazing and beautiful woman. We have had a rocky relationship of shorts, mostly because of her self esteem issue. She ALWAYS needs attention of some sorts. For whatever reason she seems to seek it out in OM in the form of EA. However this only occurs via email except for the last one. That was phone calls and text messaging. In any event the last one was end of December. Then January she hits me with the I want a D. Anyway I got her to go to counseling. We went a few sessions and she was fine and excited about a new marriage. Unfortunately I dropped the ball and spent 6 months not trusting and scrutinizing her every movement. In any event June 8 we have a blow out. I sat up thinking about it and was finally able to let go. It felt like an elephant was lifted off me. I told her the following morning and apologized. I even admitted in great detail how poorly I treated her. It actually hurts me to think I treated her that way. So on June 10 I get hit with I want a D again. No fighting since the blow out as I was very happy. She was so firm I moved out the next day, I was served the following week, and there is no way she is changing her mind. One thing about her, she thinks thing through before doing them. So I call coach on here Chuck a little over a week ago and he suggests reading Divorce Remedy. I start with LRT and thought I was seeing some positive responses from her, but she is super hard to read as she is probably the nicest and most naive person on the planet. She desperately wants to be friends and close friends, but no more relationship. Needs a new life she says. Work friend meets her husband on E-Harmony and talks her into signing up. Friend even pays for 3 month membership. Now she is having what I would believe an EA with a guy from NYC. Strange thing is we live in Michigan. She would never move out of state as she needs to on top of her parents and I would never let her move the kids out of state anyway. Unless this guy is planning on moving to MI, why would you pursue anything with him unless you want nothing more than attention. Well This has caused me to shift gears a little with her and I have since went dark. Am I doing the right thing? I feel if I call or let her call then I am giving her cake and eating it to. Not to mention if the D is going to happen I need to detach and spending time on a family day once a week as well as talking and texting daily or every other will make it quite difficult to detach as I want something more than a friendship. I told her no friendship Wed. night, no communication yesterday, and she texted me about having having the kids this weekend which I replied to. The only thing I never replied to was her last text when she asked me how I was doing. Any advice or should I begin to move on?
