wife left with the kids about 6 weeks ago. married for 16 yrs,had what seemed to me as a almost perfect marriage to me anyway. during this 6 weeks we have went through custody and financial fights witch has strained our relationship to no end. she was acting very cold and angry. I started using the last resort technique for the last 2 weeks and it seems to working some. she has become interested and curious of what i'm doing. she has become very friendly also. she is acting like were still together , laughing and joking about things. but she still is very firm on getting a divorce, she brings it up every conversation. she even joked about getting a new boy friend before the 4th of july. she went on about how our personalty's are too different and she needed someone who complemented her more. What do I do now? she says she wants to have a friendly relationship. she will not consider counseling ether. she is against it because when we went a few times before she left, the Councillor didn't agree with her. how do i get her to consider stopping the divorce? she is convinced that our personaltys don't match. the truth is we've always got along very well almost to perfect. it is very hard for me to keep up this friendliness when she is so firm on divorce. this is so hard on my children and myself,it just seems like she doesn't a very good reason for divorce.
Sounds like my husband. He walked out two weeks ago. Said we'd grown apart, had nothing in common, the intimacy was gone, and he didn't feel loved. He's never said he doesn't love me. I told him I still loved him and wanted to work it out. He said he's thought about it for a long time and can't see it working anymore. I'm not distancing myself from him. He hasn't mentioned the d word yet. He has on a number of occassions mentioned that he maybe need to see if the grass is greener, and that maybe in six months he'll realise he's made a big mistake. Here in Australia we need to be seperated for 12 months before D so luckily I have some time. What are the rules over there? At the moment with my hubby I'm just giving him space and rediscovering me. Doing things I normally wouldn't do, stepping outside my comfort zone.
H 34, W 36 T 13.5 M 8.5 C 6yo twins S 6/5/11 OW 7/6/11 OW moves in 9/18/11
[quote=billly]she even joked about getting a new boy friend before the 4th of july. she went on about how our personalty's are too different and she needed someone who complemented her more. [/quote
Sounds to me like this relationship already exists, and she's either done something about it or WANTS to. I agree with Sandi.
Have you seen Sandi's list of DB do's and don'ts yet? I would start with those.
she did the same thing 1 year ago and we reconciled and went to some counseling. all seemed great, we spent lots of time together great sex life. the week before this happened we had spent a romantic weekend away. we had a fight about finances and that was it she left.
As far as I know there is no other guy. my wife has a very low self image, (she's alittle over weight) and low self esteme. our counselor told me it was highly unlikly. that said my wife is very pretty and very out going, im sure she's looking. I spoke with her last night and she told me that I neglected her and was verbaly abusive to her for 18 yr .she said there wasen't 1 good time in 18yr. the neglect was that I took 4 trips with out her, 3 fishing trips with my buddies and 1 ski trip in 18 years. the verbal abuse she states that for instance if she washed the car I would say that the windows wern't clean. how do I get past all this negitivity? everything I have every done is bad to her now. I do realize I was far from perfect but not what she's saying. I'm starting to question her sanity. I don't know this person. everything I say she spins it into a negitive. I have been doing the lRT and that seems to only piss her off more. I've become very active on facebook (lots of new female friends) and on the weekends (with my kids) we have been doing lots of fun things without her and she's jealous. any ideas?
As far as I know there is no other guy. my wife has a very low self image, (she's alittle over weight) and low self esteme. our counselor told me it was highly unlikly. that said my wife is very pretty and very out going, im sure she's looking. I spoke with her last night and she told me that I neglected her and was verbaly abusive to her for 18 yr .she said there wasen't 1 good time in 18yr. the neglect was that I took 4 trips with out her, 3 fishing trips with my buddies and 1 ski trip in 18 years. the verbal abuse she states that for instance if she washed the car I would say that the windows wern't clean. how do I get past all this negitivity? everything I have every done is bad to her now. I do realize I was far from perfect but not what she's saying. I'm starting to question her sanity. I don't know this person. everything I say she spins it into a negitive. I have been doing the lRT and that seems to only piss her off more. I've become very active on facebook (lots of new female friends) and on the weekends (with my kids) we have been doing lots of fun things without her and she's jealous. any ideas?
My wife has been telling me the past couple of weeks that I have been verbally abusive as well. I don't think it's be overly excessive and I never yell. Her analogy is "I have stuck her with 1000 needles. One needle doesn't necessarily hurt, but now that there's a 1000, her whole body hurts."
I sometimes think she's got something hormonal or something going on internally. She went to the doctor for a sinus infection the other day and said she was going to ask for some Lexapro, but when she came home she said she forgot about asking for the Lexapro. :-/
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
