The OM.......is he in or out of the picture?? I think I read that they are still friends......Did she tell you they are just friends now and that she is not romantically involved??
No real idea what her involvement still is with OM, though at a minimum they are still friends. They have a lot of friends in common too. However, she continues to expand her own life with new friends unrelated to OM, so I believe this is also a big part of her current contentment (she is less dependent on him emotionally). I don't believe her R with OM is serious as she's yet to introduce him to anyone she knows, has never mentioned him to her family or old friends, and really just seems intent on staying single.
My kids know she's still friends with OM, but none of us discuss this, either between us or with her. It serves no purpose. They are grown up enough to think for themselves and for now choose to stay with me 99% of the time. I let them choose and so does their mother. Since mom is firm about her new single life, the kids hold no illusions at present. However, we all do look at signs of her starting to come out of crisis mode and she has been much more like her old self the last 1.5 months. I just the ride the wave any which way it breaks. Hope for the best, but am prepared for other outcomes.
Since my W has chosen to keep her MLC non-confrontational and she generally remains positive in her attitude, there would be no point in remaining distant to her. I do not chase her, contact her, text, phone, etc. other than needed to keep up with the needs of the kids. As I've stated, my main goal is to always keep things positive. This is one of the big changes in my life and I intended to reap the benefits personally whether she and I ever come together or not. I will be seeing my W for the rest of my life due to out daughers, and would prefer those future interactions to continue to be pleasant. I am learning a lot about taking the high road, but admit I have been extremely lucky (so far) to have my W's MLC be very low grade in terms of anger and drama.
We've basically already hammered out the terms of our D, the division of assets, etc., so there's really nothing left to fight about. She's happy, and we both believe the terms to be fair. I will "friend" her as much as possible, but without pursuing. While I continue to work on detaching and GAL, I will always keep the porch light on for her. In our sitch, keeping things positive is really the only way she will ever reconsider her position relative to me. I have to be the man that makes me happiest, and hopefully that inner light will shine enough to re-attract her one day. Either way, I think it will only benefit me in the long run and should reduce future regrets.
