My W and I are getting along which is great, but lets be serious, I have to be consistent for at least a month before I can think about patting myself on the back.
NO! You're still not getting it.
I haven't read your thread yet... and I may or may not. All I've read are your wife's thoughts. If you think you being on good behavior for a month is going to fix this you're sorely mistaken.
Here is what I see: You have failed to provide the most fundamental need to any woman and most especially to your wife:
!!!! SAFETY !!!!
If you want to fix your marriage start there and only there until you have mastered it.
That means:
1) Safety from your angry outbursts. 2) Safety from her doubts on your fidelity 3) Safety from not being able to express herself without you climbing down her throat 4) Safety from your disparaging thoughts ... and I can go on but I don't feel like it.
Provide a safe environment for your wife to flourish in.
