Aeo & Telemark Thanks for taking the time to respond- You both bring out some very valid points to light. I have trouble seeing many of these things for myself. Telemark the 2x’s are greatly appreciated I need them!
The thing I did again was focus on how I feel.
This will probably sound like I’m making excuses but one of the biggest complaints W had was me not talking or showing how I feel. I’m very new at this and I’m having some issues with timing. I think the best thing for me to do is shelf that for now when it comes to W, and if I have anything to share that I can’t share with my kids I will take care of it with C.
One of the points I get from what you both have told me is that Whether or not the things my wife says are true, they are true to her. I need to ALWAYS remember that. I do regret letting go of the control over myself and allowing myself to go deeper into an argument than I should have. It seems like fighting fair is not an option right now, the only option is not to fight at all, we are currently so far apart in our views that no matter what it will never seem to be a fair fight.
I just need to work on validating what she feels and not come off as condescending. No more debates, no more arguments. Truth be told, I believe I’ve said everything I’ve ever needed to say at least TWICE! And with all of that I’m still sitting in the same place when it comes to our R/M.
When my kids do the same thing over and over again I always ask them if they know Einstein’s definition of insanity, I need to ask myself the same question.
I know I can get myself out of this muck without her. It’s just the road I need to decide to take. Whether I want to or not, I have to admit that I am still operating under some fear, not fear that she will leave but fear that if I move on “as if”, and I won’t look back. I just need to cross that bridge if and when I get to it.
Time for less talk and more action, as difficult as it is with her under the same roof I need to detach. Telemark good luck with your sitch, 4 months is an eternity when we are facing the situations we are facing. I didn’t think I could do this for 6 months let alone a year! Hang in there!
M 38 W 32 T 11 M 2 SS 14 S 9 ILYBNILWY March/2010 EA found out Oct 2010 PA found out Jan 2011 living together alone
