I have just been reading back through my original thread and have only just read your detailed response to my lengthy first thread (on 28/05/11 @ 2.24pm), don't know why I have only just seen it all (I only saw the first few paragraphs, must have been due to looking at it on my cell)
Looks like I still need to learn some things
Journaling
I know I have posted a few times on how we were both unhappy and W's perception of how she treated me, but please don't take it as I keep going on about this, I just post this in case people haven't read all the information (which there is lots here). I can forgive both my W for her contributions and my own and learn from them.
I noted down the other day some of my 180's directly related to W (not GAL or kid related), these are:
Talking down to wife (although I didn't realise it) - Being more aware of what I am saying Lack of attention - giving compliments and not being critical at all Always trying to fix things - Let W find things out for herself (less caretaking) Trying to give my opinion - Let W find her own first, offer opinion if required Trying to show or rationalise what is right or wrong - Not preaching anything, let life show the way Disagree on how W feels - Validate, and have said "I'm sorry you feel that way" on a few areas Being confrontational/defensive - Listening more, reacting less (still some backslides) Not looking at W all the time when talking - Being focused on W when talking and looking into her eyes.
Don't know why but I have a sense and urge to apologise to W for my contributions. I did say sorry for a few things discussed on Sunday and W has said a few times is that the new you, and has noted the things I am doing with the kids, so actions are starting to come though.
Apologising now, is it worth it? I am not looking for a reaction, I just feel its something I should do, as thinking about it I haven't really done it in detail, just bits here and there. Or should I just show actions to back these things up?
Me - 37 W - 38 D - 14 S - 12 Together - 16 Married - 12 Bomb - April 13, 2011 W moved out - May 13, 2011
The man I became is changing back to the man I was........... and more
