Made mistake today, somehow we got talking about our R and I pressed her on why she felt the need to hide your cell phone, she denied it of course, so now she is aware of my awareness to it.
W also said that she was not feeling as cherished in the last few weeks and that I had pulled away from her, which was part of the 180 I was trying out, can they react like this if they are really suffering MLC? Maybe I have misunderstood the signs, the emails to/from other men, the evasiveness, lies, hiding cell phone, but then no list of my failings, not verbally hurtful to me or a desire to get out more with others ….
Anyway, right or wrong I asked whether anything had happened in her childhood that should not have happened and that she had not told me. I was staggered to hear her reply of yes, and she said a family friend ( male) had done something, she was not specific and I was too shocked to ask (glad I didn’t, didnt want to add to her probs) , but she lead me to believe it was not good and that it was more than once. She referred to her issues of the ‘dark’, she was very distressed at this stage, as anyone can imagine. I have been as supportive as I can at this early stage, after the shock and, not asking any questions etc. She has needed lots of hugs ! Said I had opened a can of worms now, which of course I had, unknowingly.
Now I feel guilty about thinking this, but in the light of me having been pressing her about the cell phone, placing her in a’corner ‘ so to speak, plus the view of believing nothing of what MLC’rs say ( get them out of a corner), from past experiences had anyone else experienced any thing similar. Or is it, as has been written about, that MLC is related to unresolved past (childhood) issues? and this might be hers.
The male involved died 19 years ago and she said she has never told anyone, I feel desperately for her, but cannot help but be a little nervous about this, bearing in mind the lies that she has told since this all began.
