Have Faith that God's plan for you will bring you peace. It may be His plan that you will return to each other someday, but you may need to go through some changes (as must your spouse) before that can happen, and those changes may need to happen apart from each other.
I am having the same doubts and fears as you are, so I am praying constantly. I pray for reconciliation, I pray for protection for my children, I pray for peace for my H, I pray for growth for me. It helps. Accept your suffering as Jesus accepted his suffering, and offer it up to God. Pray for strength and God will provide it. He has a plan for all of us, we just have to let go and allow it to work.
