He's been going down to reception at the same time each night to check his email but tonight went earlier. When he came back he had a big chat with me about some stuff that was going on at his work. Then he sat for an hour with me watching tv. Most time we've spent together alone since he left! I really don't know how to read him at present and just want to jump in him and rip his clothes off (crazy considering my intimacy problems) but have to resist. I want him to be the one to make any first move. It's been nice being back around him on holidays (hope he has felt the same). Wish we were staying longer but on Monday we fly home and it's back to reality.
H 34, W 36 T 13.5 M 8.5 C 6yo twins S 6/5/11 OW 7/6/11 OW moves in 9/18/11
Feeling very sad tonight. Had a cry in the shower. Last day together as a family of four. Back home to my new reality as a single mum and business owner. Going to organize some counseling as I just feel this is all my fault and I drove my husband away and ripped apart my family.
H 34, W 36 T 13.5 M 8.5 C 6yo twins S 6/5/11 OW 7/6/11 OW moves in 9/18/11
I doubt that everything is your fault...but it can be you that brings your family back together.
After the vacation, you may feel stressed and as if you have to have a conversation, or do something to bring you back together. Instead, let him miss you. DO NOTHING except work on yourself, counseling etc (be sure your counselor is pro marriage).
Back home to my new reality as a single mum and business owner.
I know this feeling: back to life.. back to reality (remember that song?)
You probably didn't do everything to make this situation the way it was.
Part of life is learning to appropriately recognize the proportionate amount of responsibility we have for what we find ourselves in.
As 25yearsmlc is fond of pointing out on here - knowing what we did gives us POWER - not guilt. So yes, take a REALISTIC look in the mirror, but recognize that you are also a wonderful person who is dealing with themselves and that your H is also a wonderful person dealing with himself in many ways too.
DBmod nailed a lot of this already - let yourself focus on you and your well being.
You can, and will, feel better than you do right now. To quote my favorite band : "You deserve the best, but its up to you to get it."
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
I hope you're getting the IC you need - I would encourage you, even in individual counseling, to seek out someone who is "pro" marriage - if you want to save your marriage, you need someone who is on board with that.
You're stronger than you know, and if you just take it one minute, one hour, one week at a time, you will get through it. Work on you - keep yourself busy, do things you love - as 25 says, become a woman only a fool would leave.
H: 39, Me: 37 SD: 18, S: 7 M: 9, T: 10 "I love you but am not in love with you" - 5/11 Discovered online affair - 7/11
You know--that's wonderful. Very few people do that. You have your hands more than full, I can't imagine having twins. One thing--the whole world doesn't need to know you're getting help. Just do it. And keep posting, if you'd like--we're here to help you.
Thanks. We are all home now and after feeling really crappy yesterday today I am good. It's fine being home and not having him around. I know now is my time to GAL and move on a bit. He contacted me earlier today and is coming to get his mail and some stuff. I actually wish he wasn't. I feel sick waiting for him to turn up. I'd rather he just stay away. Unfortunately he's living at his parents are present and they do everything for him, so he's not in the real world yet. Until he gets there reality has not chance of hitting him.
H 34, W 36 T 13.5 M 8.5 C 6yo twins S 6/5/11 OW 7/6/11 OW moves in 9/18/11
He came and packed all his clothes and toiletries today. He's sending me an email tonight (after sitting up to 1.30am last night) re our joint assets, private health insurance etc. Should be interesting to see what he proposes. At present he is only seeing his kids 2 nights a fortnight. My Divorce Remedy book is in the mail to me, and I have Love Secrets Revealed - what happy couples know about having great sex, deep intimacy and a lasting connection by Allen Berger with Mary Palmer to pick up from the library.
Took my wedding ring and enagement ring off today and they're on a chain around my neck. Also changed our relationship status on Facebook to it's complicated. He wasn't going to do it, so I took control. Now he needs to find somewhere other then his parents to live. See how green the grass is out their when you find yourself suddenly single and living on your own for the first time ever at 34.
H 34, W 36 T 13.5 M 8.5 C 6yo twins S 6/5/11 OW 7/6/11 OW moves in 9/18/11
