You sound good . . . regarding the swinging monkey idea - the thing I find difficult is that this is exactly what we are told we should not do - find another person to swing to, rather find the resources to be happy within ourselves.
And yet we may need accept the OW as a crutch on the way back to us . . . . I guess I don't want my xh in my life if he is still entangled with OW. My choice, and perhaps it says a lot about whether I really want to restore my marriage. not enough I guess is the answer. This is not any criticism of what others do, just a bit of self awareness.
